Things started off calmly enough with a cheap flight to northern Thailand and some antics to get across the friendship bridge into Laos and into Vientiene, the capital. BeerLao, one of the best beers in seasia, is available in certain places in Bangkok, but it hard to come by. I was looking forward to drinking my fill in Laos, but was surprised to see how omnipresent the beer is- You can’t escape it!
“The Beer of the WholeHearted People”
We rented motorbikes again with the plan of driving a few hours outside of Vientiene to see the countryside and presumably sleep at a guest house (Mike had other plans). We picked up a friend (named Ty) of our hosts at a place up the street who was from the area we planned to visit. Driving was a bit stressful in town, but the traffic slowly gave way to more lonely roads between rice paddies framed by hills on the horizon. As it was the height of dry season and the hottest time of the year, there were few people working their land, but each village had at least one party going on- many Laos under tents drinking beer lao and dancing in front of speakers the size of pickup trucks. Each group would wave at us as we drove by, inviting us to join. When the heat became unbearable we pulled up to one of these.
The people of Laos, I would learn, are both extremely friendly, moderately alcoholic, and unrelenting. As soon as we pulled over we were invited into the party and onto the dance floor, where we were offered beer lao (Beer Lao is usually consumed in a circle out of a communal glass filled with ice. You down your beer and pass the glass along. If someone offers you a glass its very impolite to refuse them…) upon entering the tent I was assailed by a few girls who wanted to dance and several visibly drunk men who wanted me to drink. I was adamant that I not drink because I knew we intended to continue driving eventually, but as the fourth glass of ice cold beer laos was reunited with the third glass in my stomach I began to feel at home. Baby powder was splashed on my face and I noted that our host, my girlfriend and our Laos accomplice Ty were having similar experiences. I danced and discovered the only way to avoid drinking beer was to have a pepsi in hand at all times. I should briefly mention that it was 2 pm.
We pulled away from the party and had a mellow afternoon ride over some hills to an impressive lake/reservoir. As the sun was beginning to set by this point, I asked where we planned to sleep, but Mike was not concerned, saying “hopefully with Ty’s family”. We drove through the festival in the darkness of night and stopped in front of a farmers house. Mike announced told us we had arrived at Ty’s house, where we would sleep after returning from the festival. I accidentally stepped on his brother, who was lying face down in a pile of rubble and was too drunk, according to Ty’s mother. We spent the night on some blankets in what in the US we might consider a foundation- disturbed only by the drunk father returning to ramble at us.
Fertility Celebrations. Beer Lao!
Our second day, which began at sunrise (rural areas with minimal electrification) involved motorbiking, swimming in a beaufitul river with tens of kids, a visit to the laos zoo and a return to the festival, which had seemed much more subdued in my delirium and drunkenness the night before. It was the day for the rocketfestival, which involved hundreds of drunk men carrying heavily decorated bamboo shoots into a field and launching them into the air. The rest of us danced around and drank beer lao in merriment. The day wore on and it became apparent that we would stay with Ty’s family again. I should briefly mention the fertility festival- which involved a bunch of women carrying around penises carved out of wood and making people touch them for good luck.
Somehow we made it back to Vientiene alive and exhausted…
Getting Stuffed by a Lao Boy
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